Dear Ask Dr. Love Subscriber,
This week's newsletter contains:
* "Stop Taking It Personally: 7 Steps For Eliminating Excessive
Personalization" (Airs May 15th, 1pm EST on Talk Zone Radio)
* Latest Columns
* Reading Between the Sheets
* Tip of the Week
* Dr. Love's Quickies!
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Ask Dr. Love Radio
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Tuesday, May 15th, 1pm (EST) on Talk Zone Radio:
Do you often feel like your partner is putting you down or blaming
you...even when he/she swears that he isn't?
If you said, "yes," you may be suffering from what's called Excessive
Personalization.
Excessive Personalization is a cognitive distortion that springs out
of the narcissism of childhood in which kids believe the world
revolves around them. Many people never outgrow the "baby brain." This
combined with being criticised as a child can result in the tendency
to self-blame and to hear criticism from our partners even when
criticism isn't being delivered.
And when you feel criticised and put down, the natural reaction is to
become angry. Of course, anger begets an angry response. This leads to
a downward spiral of fighting that has divorce (or breakup) written
all over it.
There is a way out!
Tune in to this week's show and discover my 7 steps for eliminating
Excessive Personalization. When you discover how to train your brain
to level with you, rather than level you, you will be able to
substitute Excessive Personalization for the ability to see and hear
what your partner is actually saying! When this happens, it's time to
sit back and watch your relationship soar to new levels of happiness
and joy.
Use this link to go to the Ask Dr. Love show on TalkZone.com NOW:
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Latest Columns
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In "My Husband Always Talks About His Ex," I help a newlywed who is
feeling hurt over the way her husband talks about all his ex-wives
(and yes there are many) and his ex-girlfriends. Tune in to find out
how understanding what's behind his behavior is the key to short-
circuiting her own hurt feelings.
In "Bored Wife," I work with a husband who has tried to do everything
to save his marriage, including reading a lot about love and
partnership and changing his behavior. He is utterly baffled as to why
his wife continues to blame him for what he used to do wrong rather
than appreciate the new him. Tune in to discover why she needs to
cling to her hard feelings...and what he can do to turn the tide with
her.
In "Problems In Relationship," I help a guy who had a tiff with his
girlfriend who told him that she was fine with an issue and that she
put it in the past. The next thing he knows she's playing the victim
and breaking up with him. Tune in to find out why he's so drawn to a
relationship that's more like an emotional landmine field and what he
can do to free himself from the compulsion to live in a war zone.
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Reading Between the Sheets
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In "Just Discovered That He Uses Viagra," I help out a woman who just
found out that the man she is about to marry has been using Viagra
since the beginning of their relationship. Tune in to find out how she
can stop taking his penis prescription personally!
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Dr. Love's Quickie
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In this segment, I'm going to share two key principles that will help
you say goodbye to Excessive Personalization.
And, of course, I'll be sharing my latest Tweets on this topic.
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Tip of the Week
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Cognitive distortions, such as Excessive Personalization, are
exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that are believed to
perpetuate the effects of psychological states, especially depression
and anxiety. Cognitive psychologist Aaron T. Beck laid the groundwork
for the study of these distortions, and his student David D. Burns
continued research on the topic. Most notably, Burns' 1989 book, The
Feeling Good Handbook, presented important information on these
thought patterns along with a proposal of how to eliminate them.
Well, that's all for this week!
May You Have All The Love You Desire,
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
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